Party Poppers & New Directions

     As soon as I had posted on my Facebook this morning in regards to asking people what they’d hoped for in the upcoming year, or what they wanted to accomplish in 2015 it got my own mind going. I’m striving towards more in 2015, I’m wanting to reach out more to those who read my books and I’m wanting to be more active with my creativity. 2014 was a hard year for me to get a lot of things accomplished on the sidelines in regards to projects, marketing the books, or meeting other writer’s mainly due to time constraints. Not to say at all though that 2014 wasn’t successful. I was incredibly blessed with the reception that ‘In With The Pack’ got back when I released it in August. I met a lot of other great people along the way and made some very close friends in the process which in itself is an automatic success. But, maybe what I’m trying to get at is I want to branch out a little more with myself. Try to dedicate more time to my projects and make them just as successful as I did with Malakai and his pack. I’ve already got another project going that will probably not be released until 2016, but that is ok. It has been slow going and even though I’m trying to put out a new book every year, it’s added a lot of stress to me as well as trying to find the time to keep up with everything else in my life. Hell, I’m an independent and self-published author I am really my own boss that decides on the when’s and where’s of things. But, in the same instance writing is something that I just can’t turn off and walk away from and decide to be done with it for a while or even take a break from.
     Just like one of those internet meme’s that I saw online the other day, ‘Writers can’t take vacations from writing because even on those vacations you are still writing’. It’s the absolute truth of the matter. But in the same instance, it’s just not that. I love to tell stories; I love to give something to someone who says ‘Wow, this was great! When’s the next one happening?’. I’m not meaning to toot my own horn here but if I can entertain someone other than myself when it comes to writing stories then I have succeeded as a writer. But at the same time, I’ve been mulling over ideas of things that I’d like to do in 2015 as well as my writing:

Meeting other local talent- For those who have met me in person, or know where I live. The Lewiston-Clarkston Valley is an extremely small community. With both populations of Lewiston and Clarkston we probably top out at close to around forty-thousand populous. So, when it comes to meeting other local writer’s or talents I am always excited to meet them. I think as writers, artists, photographers, etc. It’s important for us to stick together especially in small towns. But it’s also fun to plan events were you can have more than one person available for signings. It helps with exposure as well for them! One of the things I’d like to do in 2015 is organize more events or even some kind of a writer’s guild locally here in the valley for all of us to come together. Non-judgmental and the first meeting don’t even have to be about reviewing anything. It’s fun just to get together and talk and learn about the other various types of talent that we have here locally. Maybe even organize some events for us all to participate.

Photography- Though this is done away from both pad and paper I’ve always enjoyed photography. At the beginning of the month I shared some pictures on my Facebook with that of an old flour mill that is located just outside the city park in Asotin. When I got them home and photo shopped them a bit and posted them the response I got was very humbling. So, I was thinking of maybe also doing some kind of photography class or just doing freelance and working on what I already know to take some pictures here locally around the valley and beyond. Where I live there are lots of woods, rivers, canyons, and even some ghost towns for pictures to be taken in. That is also something else I’d like to do both with snowy weather, and sunny weather. Photos capture so much, and even with landscapes that stay vivid in your head it could lead to potential story settings. Really, it’s a win-win situation for me.

Video Productions- Though I know very little about this particular field, I had the opportunity in both 2013 and 2014 to help with video productions of a few budding directors. While the opportunities have been smaller and not as abundant as they had been, this is something that I’d still like to help in. It’s exciting to see people’s ideas jump from the paper to flesh and blood characters. How excited the entire production team is to making this the best product that they can regardless if it is a serious movie or if it’s a humorous movie. The expectations and standards that these independent film artists hold themselves to are phenomenal. It’s almost as intense as writing a book. A little more stress added when you are dealing with the actors/actresses. Where in the process of writing a story you can tell them exactly what you want them to do and you won’t get any fuss about it. With actors/actresses you may get a degree of defiance whether it’s something they don’t agree with on their character or time constraints. Either way, I enjoyed being a part of the production value and helping them realize their own dreams.
     I’d also considered doing more video blogs in the upcoming months of 2015. From what I understand blogs are kind of going on the wayside of things and that VLOGS are the most popular route to go when you are trying to reach out to subscribers. Maybe it’d be a way as well to show off the pictures that I plan on taking. Making a mini-slideshow or something with them. Something to toy around with I guess. I really never learned on how to use the video editors because by the time I graduated *cough* 2002 *cough* things like Microsoft PowerPoint, Windows Movie Maker, Excel etc. were all beginning to come into popularity with not only business professionals but also teachers. I guess my question is do people even use cardboard to make presentations anymore? Or, has it gone to this new digital format? But I digress. So, those are just some things I’d like to concentrate in the upcoming year that I’d like to branch out into. Will it happen? If I can put my head to it and get things situated anything is possible. My own indecisiveness will be my only enemy. 

     

     What do you plan on doing for 2015? Feel free to share with the others at the bottom of this blog, or you can leave a comment on my Facebook page!

Not Unlike The Pack...

     Rejection. It’s hard to not concentrate on the feeling when every passing day the truth becomes stronger, and things become more and more apparent to you. I’m not here to complain, and be extremely negative. But at the same time, I've been looking for a way to vent. I’m going to try and keep this blog as positive as I can. If it comes across incredibly negative then I am sorry. It’s been a difficult set of years since my brother passed that I’m finally beginning to see a bigger picture in a particular situation that involves me with family. As much as I try to be a part of them and want to spend time with them, it all seems that it’s in vein for the simple fact that often times we are left out on things. Always hearing about events days after? Or moments before something is said to take place. In the dark constantly, with no firm communication between anyone on that side. It’s been difficult for me, and after the history that has scarred my life it still shakes down the foundations of which I used to stand on it. I think that my brother was aware of the situation well before I was. He tried to point it out to me several times, but now that he is gone I can see a clearly defined set of circumstances that he once tried to point out to me over and over again. It seems the more that I deal with these particular set of circumstances my pack becomes more clear to me, and the more I begin to write. Whatever the reason is for being constantly rejected, pushed away, and shunned by these particular people hurts. It hurts like a damned knife. But having been writing and continuing on with my pack and watching them from a far I’ve come to an even more clear revelation.
     Sure, blood is thicker than water, but at the same time. Sometimes family doesn't always come in the form of that. Something I have learned from writing and watching my characters, is that you don’t need blood relations to feel wanted, needed, or for this matter loved. As much as it pains me, and how much it bothers me, to feel like I’m unwanted or am not important enough to share in their lives. I still have what I would consider my own family standing next to me and by my side. The more I have written and the more their story has played out the more I’ve come to realize that really, me and my main character are not that far off. It’s not like I had planned this thing or anything, it’s just what I’ve written with my trusty pen in a blackened room, with a nice cup of tea by my side. Apparently, just not needed at this point and time, and everyone has become very self-sufficient and they don’t feel the need to want to include me with anything at this time. However, with that said MY family, friends, and whom I would consider blood related demonstrate to me everyday exactly, how much I am needed and that gives me a comforting feeling unlike the cold shouldered, mentality of what I had felt. Which, I might I add is almost comparable to the wind that is blowing outside my window currently. Slowly the delightful cooling breeze of the fall is beginning to become tainted, and spoiled by that of the winter that is quickly approaching. I guess, what I have learned overall and sitting down and writing this blog, is that we are never alone. At the darkest times, when you feel you are don’t.
     Though I yearn, for a bit of attention from these particular people, I know now that it might not be a possibility for a week, a month? Maybe longer. But to my family, friends, brothers, etc. I know all I have to do is call them and they will be more than happy to lend an ear and be there for me. If you have made it through the blog, I thank you for taking the time to read my frustrations and let me vent a little. I hadn’t meant for this blog to be too extremely negative but I felt that I needed to vent. Not only that, but it has helped demonstrate to that I have found a way out of this darkness. That, with the power of writing, my imagination, and to those who CHOOSE to surround themselves around me anything is possible. That there is a comfort in knowing I have them when I need them. A quick way to jot down my thoughts, opinions, and my feelings real quick in this short paged blog. I do promise that the next blog WILL BE more positive. Because hopefully by then, I will have two stories to go off to the editor, and I can finally relate and tell you some more information about this upcoming Wolf book that I’ve been writing for almost eight months! For those who have followed me on Facebook and Twitter, I’ve dropped a few hints there but nothing too much. I’d like to talk a bit more about characters, and familiar settings. But until then, everyone be safe and take care! Have a VERY Happy Halloween and thank you again for taking the time to read about my frustrations and feelings and not turning away!

Which Wolf Will You Feed?

Which Wolf Will You Feed?

     It has certainly been a while since I've typed a blog. According to my Blogspot here it’s been since June 30th of this year. I apologize for the lack of blog writing, as it is something to do in between writing sessions and it gives me a chance to clear my head a little bit about what I am currently writing about. For those who have been following me, or maybe you aren't quite in the loop My story about my fictional pack is almost complete. One more major obstacle and the book will be finished. I currently have another book that is waiting to go off to the editor’s. It’s a matter of getting everything put together and as of late my schedule hasn’t really allowed me to do much, and consist much of me being in a car. No worries though! It will be done this year. I’m shooting for the next release to be in the summer time of 2014. My Wolf book, I’d like to be in the winter. But we’ll see how things fall. Life has been very busy as of late. So, those who do follow me on Facebook and Twitter, I thank you for all of your support, your responses, and your conversations. Now? Onto my blog now that I’ve given a bit of an update on where everything kind of stands with book releases, and scheduling.
     What an interesting way to start a blog off right? Which Wolf Will You Feed. I’d like to clarify right up front that this has actually nothing to do with Wolves. For those who have followed me on Facebook they know how much I believe in the conservation of Wolves. But not only the Wolves, but for all of the animals really. Since I have started my writing my book I have found how important conservationism really is to everyone. It has brought on a whole new perspective for me and the world that I live in. The title of the blog is really about a Native American short story. I will have it copy and pasted and the bottom for those who are wanting to read it. But the story deals with life, and some of the challenges that come up in life. Recently, I’d have a huge trial that I was dealing with. It dealt with some personal relationships within my family that carried very deep scars. Some of which, have not completely healed over, and still remain fresh. Without giving a lot of details into the entire situation, I will say that conversation was very difficult and hard with this person. It’d gotten to a point that we had completely quit talking. Nothing was happening on either side, and this continued on for almost a month. Then? Out of the blue I received a text message from this particular person apologizing for the absence on their part and how they really wanted to meet up with me again to do lunch. At first? I didn't quite know what to do. I wanted to completely ignore the text message all together and go about my business like I had been. But, I begin to think further down the road and what the possibilities could be. Unfortunately, I lost my brother December 22, 2010. Almost three years ago, and that scar will never go away. The sudden passing had really left a lot of things unresolved between the two of us. Things that could have been said, things that should have been said, and feelings that could have been expressed. That entire situation came to mind as I stared at the text message debating on whether or not to answer it.
     Being a writer it is so easy to think up moral dilemmas and situations to put your characters into. It is completely the opposite when you are dealing with your own personal dilemmas and how exactly to handle these situations. In your novels, short stories, poems, novelettes, and series you know the outcome. The outcome that you have very specified for your character. It’s always within sight as you right. Sometimes you almost curse yourself because dealing with personal issues it’s not always that easy. I stared at the text message for a very good while, and decided I needed a second opinion. I called a very good friend of mine and told him what the situation was. My very good friend is quite the jokster. This conversation for him was the exact opposite and he brought up some good points. Points, that I had already discussed about with myself as I studied this text message that had been sent to me. Life, I have found out is all about second chances. Sometimes, it’s about three or four chances more. This is true to say not only about personal relationships, but very much about things you encounter. Whether your testing for a promotion, you are attempting to publish a book, the beauty about life is that we don’t always have to leave things at only one or two tries. Often times, it takes much more than that to really get at where we are going or where we want to end up with things. He reminded me of all these things and then brought up the real personal facts about this instance. Life can change so suddenly, and so rapidly that these instances where we get these opportunities to really take charge of our own destinies does not happen often, or in my case doesn’t seem to happen enough.
     Just like the instance with my brother, I realized that it’s important to not let these kinds of small opportunities to pass you up. That, if we continue to hold these kinds of grudges against our own family and friends, and even if it was over something small in the end? You really need to ask yourself ‘Is this problem really worth the de-railing of my friendship or relationship with this particular family member’? In this world, that is all we have is friends and family. That is why I embrace anyone and everyone that talks to me. It’s important to have friends and acquaintances. I knew what my friend was talking was straight truth and after hanging up with him, I ended up calling this family member back and we met for lunch. The result? We had completely worked out the issue that we’d been feuding on for a very long time. So, I felt that I wanted to talk with everyone who followed me on Blogspot about this issue. Opportunities like this come up, are not only a chance to help move on with these problems and get them resolved. These opportunities will also help bring closure in case you never get the chance to speak with the person again so you don’t have the guilt of what could have been said or needed to be said hanging now in limbo. I appreciate everyone who took the time to read this, and let me vent a very personal detail with the world. I hope that if you are in a similar situation like I have been. That there is nothing wrong with being the bigger person even if you are the one who instigated it, or you are the person on the receiving end. If these people matter enough to you, then in the end you will find the closure to the problem that is between you and them. The Native American story about the two wolves came to mind after I thought about it some. I've included it below for all to read. It brings up a good point, and begs to ask. Which side will you feed Light or Dark? In the end, when you leave this life how do you want to exit out. I am still in the process of attempting to write a blog about Fan-Fiction but am trying to be very careful about how I write it.

The Story of Two Wolves

An old Cherokee chief was teaching his grandson about life.

“A fight is going on inside me,” he told the young boy, “a terrible fight between two wolves. One is evil, full of anger, sorrow, regret, greed, self-pity and false pride. The other is good, full of joy, peace, love, humility, kindness and faith.”

“This same fight is going on inside of you, grandson…and inside of every other person on this earth.”

The grandson ponders this for a moment and then asks, “Grandfather, which wolf will win?”

The old man smiled and simply said,

“the one you feed.”